I’m Hank Mortar, and I’m a University-educated redneck.
The world is a vast tangle of intentionally manufactured insecurities and the products and services that promise to restore peace of mind. Do girls care about a guy’s length? The question itself has created a market for remedies to solve a problem, the true nature of which is misunderstood.
If we look in the holy Bible we can see two women. One is named Olibah, and the other, Oholibah. The biblical writer demeans and chastises them, because they enjoy the practice of invading armies raping the conquered land’s women.
It is written, “They loved men with members like those of horses, and emissions like those of donkeys. When the enemy soldiers rode victorious through our conquered land, the sisters: Olibah and Oholibah, laid before them and allowed their breasts to be fondled.”
It appears that desperate, sleazy females favor deformed males. If a guy isn’t sure about this, he’s definitely not getting out enough. I believe the problem is not size, but isolation! If guys don’t get out in the world, they don’t know what’s going on!
If a girl cares about size, it’s a sign that she’s probably had some other guy(s) inside her reproductive tract. Personally, I don’t mate girls like that. If I’m not the only guy who has ever been inside her, forget it! It’s not because I fear competition! It’s because I really get turned on by knowing the girl has not had anything inside of her but me, that she’s fertile, that she’s suffering the virgin’s pain of atonement, and that she belongs to me!
Some people think that’s abnormal; that it’s perverted! What is perverted about it? Then it comes out that my critics believe pregnancy is outdated! They believe the female uterus is the result of a genetic mutation on the rectum genes.
Yup, they tell me that the primary evolutionary function of the human reproductive system is to sate one’s self on the pleasure to be had; that pregnancy interferes with nature, and that guys who get girls pregnant are xenophobic, misogynist homophobes with Neanderthal complex aggravated by faith-based belief systems based on ancient fairy tales that serve no other purpose than to shame the superior female into submission!
In fact, up until whatever era you choose, males moved on all fours, wore leashes,and ate from doggie dishes! Women ran the world! History has all been rewritten by white males and their sons, who are also white males!
So, where did everyone come from? People don’t grow like plants! They must be born! That requires pregnancy! But this biological obstacle to the validity of the master-gender theory is no deterrent to my critics! They simply call me bad names.
If you’re a guy and you fear that girls will laugh at your feeble endowment, keep one thing in mind. Every adult male who lives in his parent’s basement or garage, who plays video games at least eight hours per day—preferably after 10:00 pm; who smokes a lot of pot, and whose PC is also his girlfriend; has the same fear!
Some guys really are small, and they climax by just dancing with a girl! We laugh about it! But it must be terrible! There’s only solution: resolve to get married to a pure virgin—although today that might mean taking olive oil as your bride! I hear these guys complain on web forums, “It is so difficult to find a virgin bride! What’s wrong with the world!”
The virgins must be hiding from these guys! A new crop of eighteen-year-olds comes of age every day! You just have to know how to talk to them! Guys try to be clever, but their not honest. Girls love honesty! So I just say, “I saw you from over there, and you know what?”
She says, “What?”
Then I say, “I’d love to watch you nurse my baby on your large, firm, well-formed, pointed-up breasts,” OR, “I’d love to share with you my intimate gift of masculine love, right at the opening to your Fallopian tubes!”
She says, “Me too,” OR, “How do I know you’re not lying?” OR, “I want to take your accursed seed inside my fertile innocence and transform it by my atonement sacrifice into the flawless DNA of God The Father!”
Guys who can’t find a virgin anywhere in the whole world are trying to be too romantic! No girl will believe that love and devotion stuff! Just tell her what you want! The source of feminine identity and purpose is not to be pampered by an endless litany of selfless acts of love done on the woman’s behalf! It’s to get married, get pregnant, to bear and nurse the man’s offspring—preferably manchild—and to submit to the man’s yoke in cheerful obedience!
If a girl can gain her self-worth as a female, without the chocolate syrup and broken promises, she’ll jump at the chance! Why do guys get turned on? Because they want to get a girl pregnant. Girls want to get pregnant! But they like a guy who is according to nature. It’s OK to buy a girl gifts. But if the gift comes without the most intimate and masculine gift the man can give, it’s a big letdown, like the guy doesn’t really care about her!